When you first break-up, it may seem like a cruel twist of fate, even if it’s a paralysing break-up insists on solidering on. If anything, it loves harderand every bottomless beat, it looks for old lovers long after they have gone – in song lyrics, in patches of perfumed bedsheets and sunsets.
Everything probably seems to be entirely to them, with it’s special kind of scorpion sting that won’t touch the sides. Really, how can someone who you loved go from the earth, sun and moon to being a complete stranger.
See, every little thing really does make them who they truely are, but in a messed up twisted of fairytale fate that you have never been breifed, they are simply cut from the plot never to be seem again and you are left holding the beloved proof copy whilst wondering where it all went wrong.
I won’t lie, it’s a complete shithole but it’s a path that is well-trodden and you aren’t about to lay down roots here, your just passing through.
If you were to get a little lost whilst your finding your way around and tripping over ugly land marks. So i’ve put together a pocket map full of key coordinates, to hopefully find your way home. I have complete faith in you, that your gonna make it!
Let Yourself Grieve The Relationship
Allow yourself to grieve; you may not have lost the person throught a death, but you have still lost a relationship that has come to an end with someone who you loved. Also as much as you feel extremely vulnerable scary and unbearable to sit the pain at time. Through letting your feeling to do extactly what they need to do can serve to help you throughthi funky kinds of loss, self-defence on a whole new level. For some people, they are able to get over the loss within a matter months or even days, but that’s not the case for everyone; no matter how much you try to push or control through in order to return to normality.
Focus On Perspective
Remember that no relationship is a waste of time. So reaching a point of acceptance from your loss is a breakthrough in itself. You unfortunatly you can’t rewrite what has happened, but you have the option to take the hardship and grown from you experience.
Take Ownership Of Your Loss
It may feel like a lot of loss, especially if you were super close and spend alot of time that person, where it was a partener, husband, girlfriend or BFF’s but it’s not, it’s completely yours and there’s a powerful lesson there. You can either sit there in pain and feeling angry or you own it and think is has very little to do with them. Sure, you feel lonely but that stil doesn’t mean your worthless of finding love again, you actually right where you need to be, even if it a little treacherous right now, you daffodils or ducks will line up when the time is right.
Wean Yourself Away
There’s nothing worst than a last seen notification to tip you off the edge. So, why do we do this to ourselves?? All you need to do it simply, mute and block their social media, delete their number and archive photos – basically do whatever you need to do to stop your finger from going there. Weaning yourself way from them can be easier said than done, but by removing the distraction can make a good start at moving yourself in the right direction. Use this time to indulge in everything you want to do, whether it’s to get a dog, cut your hair or watch your favourite tv series that they didn’t like on repeat.
Reconnect With Yourself
Sometimes, loving someone else super hard can often mean losing part of yourself – whether that being your feeling not being that important or your needs being on the back burner. Whereas being single can mean there is no compromise, no more meeting someone else’s needs before your own and not having to answer to anyone else apart from yourself!
Put Judgement In The Bin
If you feel like a fling will help to deal with your loss, then go ahead and do that – just make sure not to use all the textbook rebound moves to numb the pain as you’ll more than likely to make matter worst.
Have you been there, done that and got the teary-stained t-shirt? How did you get over your broken heart?